Introducing: Confessions of a horny Virgin

chv

I’m done.
I. am. Tired.
I know this is supposed to be an introduction, but, Can I rant for a while? Ok, Thanks. When you decide to be a virgin well more like when your mother threatens you to not get pregnant.  Those that have gone before do not exactly tell how it goes in reality.

The lonely nights.
The longing to be held.
The unnecessary baths you have take.
That annoying run just to expel some tension, and the unfortunate fall into masturbation( for some)
Nope, This isn’t exactly why I’m tired. I am okay with finding out about stuff right in the middle and adjusting quickly. Why am I tired? #TeamUnrealisticV
We all go ahead to be the all-prime-and-proper-Virgins-till-I-marry-Its-all-roses-through-the-process Arrgghhhh!

I’ve always wanted to have an honest realistic conversations about different stuffs, I really appreciate knowing that I am not in a struggle on my own and also encouraging people around me, but I’ve found out no one really wants to talk about it. I was chatting with a friend a while ago and he said “Some girls just like to portray themselves as superhumans, so they don’t get judged. But it would be good to know that you can talk about it and know you are not in the phase alone”

Maybe i’ve not looked well, but I only see people say #TeamVirgin and why they decided to stick to the route and “No one says its going to be east, but its worth it” But then, What about the koko of the gist? :(

Anyways, Why else am I here? To bring it to you as it is noni :) Well, Not me exactly Remember Adriana? From Blue Peril? You can check out the post :)

For those that just started following this blog (Please, tell me there are new followers -___-) I featured her sometime last year and she just disappeared, But now? she is back and excited about this and wants to share her journey as a young Christian Virgin as a form of encouragement to others out there to know that we not alone in the process.

The series will start tomorrow and continue for the next couple of weeks (depending on how much she wants to share) and if you are out there and want to share something about your journey as a Virgin and how you’ve dealt with it, your entries are welcome mail me [tomi.akibo@gmail.com] or you just need someone to talk to please, mail me. Would love to read from you.

Drop your anonymous  comments. Thanks.

See you tomorrow :) *Takes a back seat*

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Lights and Shadow II

“Without one there is not the other and at the presence of that one the other disappears” ~ Lights and shadows 


“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for thou art with me” ~ King David

Rick warren said in his interview with piers Morgan when he was talking about his son’s suicide, that even in the valley of the shadow of death, God is there because there can’t be a shadow without light.

that resonated with me, I had always had the idea that we are supposed to go through hard times by ourselves and if we make it through, we got a medal then be free to enjoy the good time (or something like that)

But, in my study of the word I found out that we do not have a High Priest Who is unable to understand and sympathize and have a shared feeling with our weaknesses and infirmities and liability to the assaults of temptation, but One Who has been tempted in every respect as we are, yet without sinning. 

Let us then fearlessly and confidently and boldly draw near to the throne of grace (the throne of God’s unmerited favor to us sinners), that we may receive mercy [for our failures] and find grace to help in good time for every need [appropriate help and well-timed help, coming just when we need it] [Hebrews 4: 15-16][Amp]


Even in our dark moments, he gives us shadows and shadows are only present when there is light. We might be going through our darkest hours but lets look at the shadow and take comfort.
You may not “feel” him, what am i even saying? more than half the time, you will not feel anything. But like we have said, We are a people that don’t live our lives by what we feel, we live by what we know.

In the beginning was the word and the word was with God and the word was God [John 1:1]

We are a people that take God by his word because that is what is the whole embodiment of who he is, His word.
When he says Yes, he means it and no one can say No. 
Its so easy for people to believe by faith “For God so loved the word that he gave his only begotten son…” [John 3:16]

What makes the promise of “I will never leave you nor forsake”  [Isaiah 42:16, Heb 13:5, Deut 31:6, Josh 1:5you any different? 

Because we get process his love that is beyond our knowledge in our minds? But thats taken care of, because all we need is faith and He has given to us the measure of faith [Romans 12:3] 
In this our dark hours, lets hold on to his word (easier said than done, I know but more rewarding) by faith and take comfort in his promise.

God never fails and he is not going to start with you. Look ahead, can you see the light?

Have you come to an end of yourself? Have you come to a point where nothing else seems to be working out and you’ve tried all you could? Click to meet GRACE

Posted in Hope, inspirational, Jesus, Photography, Truth | Leave a comment

Staying on track is not a walk in the park

“I may not get what/be where i want – yet – but I am sure I want to be yours” ~ Tomilola [May 2013]

One of the questions I’ve heard the most in the last months is “Why did you cut your hair again?” since my reason is in line with what the title of the post decided to share. Here are excerpts from my journal entry for the 18th of May, 2013 (The day I cut my hair)

“I want to be mad at you for letting me be here at this time and not answering my prayers, day after day, night after night but I remember that I made a decision to follow you regardless of whether you grant my request or not and I am reminded today.

So, I’m going to say this again and I am going to cut my hair today to remind me of this decision – I AM NOT GOING ANYWHERE – No matter how bad I feel

I may not get what/be where I want – yet- but i’m sure I wan’t to be yours and thats good enough”

There were alot of things that were not going right in my life at the time and I prayed about them and it just felt like nothing was happening, this was part of what I could scribble down to God and then I after a couple of months or so, I reached out to madam Salt because I needed to talk to an older person that would understand, and I really don’t know why my heart spoke to her at the time (but I know now)

I was also having a conversation with Ibukun a while ago and we talked about how it was so easy to do what was wrong as against walking with God and doing what is right or living according to the word, came to the conclusion that we do right because we know to do right, end off.

There are so many temptations to just slip and “go with the flow” of the world but We are not of this world are we? [John 15:19]

How does this connect with my hair? I’m sure you know by now.
Its so easy to take the shortcut because your friends won’t stop calling you SU or making jest of the choices you make in obedience to God, its so easy to conform to the worlds way of doing well because majority carries the vote, yes its easy but is it profitable?

I was beginning to forget, so (almost) everytime the wind blows on my scalp I am reminded that “although, Its not easy but I’m in this with you” then after I read True confessions I then understood what I was even doing, I was becoming a Knower instead of a Feeler.

Now, If we are honest with ourselves, we would admit that our flesh and feelings get in the way of our right living which makes it difficult IF we are trying in our strength.

Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth: for he shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall hear, that shall he speak: and he will shew you things to come” [John 16:13]
and what’s the truth?

Truth = Jesus

The Devil operates via our physical senses, our feelings, what we can see, taste, hear, smell or feel but God operates through faith in him and “Faith cometh by hearing and hearing by the word of God” [Romans 10: 17]

How does staying on track become a walk in the park? By believing what we know from the word of God, when we make the concious effort to be KNOWERS, you will give even when you don’t feel like it, you will keep your mouth shut when you just want to yell curse words at the unruly driver, you will show Gods love to someone that you should consider enemy, basically You start living right and stop being tossed around by our feelings and emotions (which are inconsistent btw) and you start to be motivated by the Truth in the word of God (which never changes)

Once again, are you going to join me to live like a knower?

Have you come to an end of yourself? Have you come to a point where nothing else seems to be working out and you’ve tried all you could? Click to meet GRACE

Posted in Imperfect, inspirational, Spiritual, SpiritualGrowth, Truth | Leave a comment

Friendship


Chords.
Broken chords, flawed.
Flawed, you might be – alone
In one accord, we stand.
Harmonic sounds, we produce – together
Memories, we make – I adore.
On our androids, we record.

You fumble, I stumble.
Still, we stand – accord
Unbroken chord
Quick, I listen. Slowly I speak – to you.
That way, we don’t crumble.
But we stand – one accord

The word “friend” so easily abused
But, you lend – your hand, I mend – your heart.
We bend the rules, we spend the time
We pretend to laugh – with them
We depend on Us.
Do I dare to say this will never end?

Please feel free to copy and dedicate to a friend of yours (I’m nice like that ;))

Have you come to an end of yourself? Have you come to a point where nothing else seems to be working out and you’ve tried all you could? Click to meet GRACE

Posted in Friendships, Love, poerty | 3 Comments

The Word in a Photograph: Light at the end of the Tunnel?



For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory ~ II Corinthians 4:17

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, ‘will’ guard your hearts and mind through Christ Jesus” ~ Phil 4:6-7


“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me” ~ Psalm 23:4

Have you come to an end of yourself? Have you come to a point where nothing else seems to be working out and you’ve tried all you could? Click to meet GRACE

Posted in Photography, Word | Leave a comment

Lights and Shadows 1


“When God is ready to unearth your excesses, he leaves no shadow unlit” ~ Tomilola


We serve a God of light, why should there be any darkness in us? I can’t say my soul is 100% light now, but I am being confident of this very thing, that He which hath begun a good work in me* will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ [Philippians 1:6 *Text altered]

When we do realise that this journey to perfection is not ours to “struggle” through, we have a comfort and peace and it starts making sense.

Since we stand for truth At the foot of the hill I will go ahead to tell you one, the last #TruthSeries was my story. I had started writing it a while ago and as I wrote about 2 lines, I stopped with tears in my eyes I just said “I can’t do this Lord” and I just gave up, but I knew I was supposed to write it.

I totally forgot about it, but God was definitely working behind the scenes. The day I finally wrote it (Series of God-incidence lead up to that) I wrote it without a single tear. God had gotten me ready for that moment (I had no idea)

That same week, I had a conversation with my sister that lead up to the talk about my Dad and there and then God really opened our eyes to exactly what the problem was. 

Us!

Up until this moment, we had someone we called Daddy but God made us realise that we really had a father. I can’t and don’t want to go into his excesses (Thats not the purpose of this) but we acted to him based on the knowledge of his imperfections that we knew about.

Growing up, I had a father that would wake us up either by sprinkling water on us or touching our faces with his wet hand, then carry you into the bathroom, bath you and dress you up for school and some saturdays cooked for us. 
We grew up and got to the knowledge that he wasn’t prefect and saw all his weaknesses and got mad that he wasn’t as perfect as we thought in our early years.

Whats my point? I’m getting to it. Stay with me :)

After the conversation and prayer with my sister, we decided to let God help us make the conscious effort to show him Love and genuinely be interested. I then had a conversation with him, normally, i would sit there and try to get myself off the ‘hook’ in minutes to go back to whatever I was doing but this time, I was happy to actually sit and talk to him and really want to just kick myself for depriving me of a good relationship with him.
I can categorically say that I have one of the coolest dads in the world and all I did was listen. I didn’t even do a lot of the talking. In one night I found out alot of things about him that I didn’t know about  before now, Imagine if I had utilised my years with him? sigh.

But I am grateful, its better late than never right?
This brings me to the question I want to ask, How many times have we stopped looking at the good aspects of the people in our lives and capitalize on their weaknesses and act to them according to that?

Please, lets search hearts. I cannot promise you that the hard truth will be easy to face but its worth it. 
God is still shining his light to unearth all the darkness in me, this is my experience and I hope the spirit will prompt you to take a good look at all your relationships and make conscious effort to change things and for a change notice the wonderful qualities of that person.

And above all let God shed his light on your inner shadows!




Have you come to an end of yourself? Have you come to a point where nothing else seems to be working out and you’ve tried all you could? Click to meet GRACE

Posted in Gratitude, Truth | 14 Comments

Tears

Posted in Beginning, Drained, Poem | 3 Comments